Why Self-Care Is Harder When You Need It Most

Self-care is my jam.

You can find me doing it multiple times a day with yoga classes, self-help books, and the good old fashion bubble bath.

I consider it a hobby — finding ways to treat myself, love myself more, and fill my days focusing inward instead of outward.

When I think back to when I first got into self-care though, it did not always come naturally to me.

When I first discovered it, I was in a toxic relationship, filled to the brim with anxiety, and I was seeking something to help me process the turmoil inside of me.

Self-care was a tool that helped me change my entire life, but I had to master it.

It started as a simple bath. I would fill it up with bubbles, read a poetry book on love, and listen to overly emotional music to melt the night away.

I would sit in that bath and feel, letting go of all the walls of strength I was holding up with the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Over time, self-care taught me how to nurture and love myself. And it has become a necessary part of my daily routine.

So why when I feel anxious, depressed, or as of recently, physical pain do I have a habit of dropping it entirely?

The answer, simply stated, is my attitude towards it.

When my attitude changes to one of scarcity instead of abundance, self-care becomes challenging to stick my mind to.

When I am tired, worn out, and lack motivation in general, taking that extra step to show myself love and affection becomes overwhelming.

Instead, it is easier to have an attitude of apathy. So, I turn my back on myself.

When you’re mad at someone, do you jump at showing up for them? Probably not. Likewise, it is harder to show up for yourself when you are down in the dumps.

Foolishly, we get upset with ourselves for feeling feelings other than happiness. We become bummed at ourselves for not having a good day.

So when we feel anxious, depressed, tired, and in pain, it is easier to pull away, kick some dirt at ourselves, and scoff off into a world of shame and emptiness.

And that is why we must pull through and do the opposite.

Love ourselves harder when we feel our lowest. Give ourselves care, compassion, and grace when we feel like we don’t deserve it. Force love on ourselves, as we would someone whom we believe in but who doesn’t believe in themselves.

There is healing in that, power we do not fully understand.
So take a bath and read sappy poetry. Put on a face mask and give yourself a manicure. Force yourself through a yoga class or go on the run.

Whatever self-care means for you, do it every single day — including the days where you do not feel like doing it at all.

Show up for yourself when you need it most because that is where the power of self-care truly lies.

That is how self-care becomes the greatest act of unconditional love.

This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.

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