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By the time my son is born, I will be just a couple of months away from my 45th birthday. I am going to be an old dad. There is no doubt about it, and I am perfectly fine with it. Let me tell you why.
I am a more patient person.
I often say that my little brother, who is 12 years my junior, had a different father than I did. My dad was quick to yell, scold, and spank — his dad not so much. My dad had a strict no TV in my bedroom policy — his dad let him have a TV and anything else he wanted in his bedroom. My dad reamed my ass when I got caught with drinking underage — his dad just rolled his eyes when he got caught with weed in his dorm room. My dad was eighteen when I was born — his dad was 30. Yes, we have the same father — his was just 12 years older than mine.
I look forward to not being such a hard-ass or short-tempered with my son.
I lived a pretty good life already.
I have been posting online that I wanted to be a dad for years now. As a response, I usually got something like “Don’t do it,” “Enjoy your freedom,” or “I love my kids but…” These people all had kids young, some of them unexpectedly. I have a feeling they feel they were robbed of their youth. I, however, have spent the past 26 years traveling, enjoying life, making money, and spending it.
Because I have lived most of my adult life so far as if I was retired, I have no problem “losing my freedom.” In fact, I welcome it.
I’ve come a long way, baby.
I am going to be responsible for being a positive male role model in my son’s life. My behavior is going to have a direct impact on him whether I want it to or not. I need to set a good example. I’m glad he was not around when I was a confused, messed up young man. Chances are he would be one himself now if he were.
I am glad to finally have been diagnosed with depression and being treated for it. My son will not have to know this person.
I am financially stable.
Well, not really. But most men are at this age aren’t they? So that’s a good reason to wait till your forties. In all seriousness, I am in a pretty good financial position. I have zero consumer debt, I have rental houses, I have savings, I am the author of several published books, and I have a few different sources of income coming in when I get really old. The only thing I don’t have is a job. But I have over two decades worth of experience and don’t feel I’ll have a problem getting one. I have already turned down a few, and one of them would have been the highest-grossing position I ever held.
I think older dads are happier.
The dad’s that I mentioned above that warned me against having children were from Facebook. I’ve known some of them for over 20 years. I have also noticed on Facebook some men who started families late like me, and they seem so happy. Also, and this is just coming to me, some of my peers are grandparents. These men love their grandbabies. Don’t all grandparents? Does this have anything to do with them hanging out with their kid’s kids or is it that they are just older? I wonder if they would feel the same way about their own children had they had them later in life.
Read about the day I found out I was going to be a father here.
Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: Tim Gillies