Where Is the Compassion?


It’s funny. Someone recently said to me, “All these experts on training, finance and organization are all making money on stuff that no one needs to be taught. It’s 100% instinct. The people who use their instincts have no reason to need someone to teach them how to date. It’s just plain common sense.”

That’s a great quote. I love that quote. I’m going to agree with it . . . 100%.

Forget about all the experts — especially in dating and finance. I mean, come on.

Look how great Americans are in finance. Look at all the great things they’ve done to themselves.

Look at the number of people who have borrowed against their house thinking that the real estate market was going to go up 100% every year. Look at the situation those people are in right now. Look at all the people who kept their money in the stock market during the .com heyday, thinking their stocks would go up 200% every year.

Yes, people don’t need financial help at all. People – the majority of people – clearly need a lot of financial help. Something like 95% of people who win the lottery are broke within six years.

People need financial help! A friend of mine bought a house in 2005. In Los Angeles, houses went up in value 132% in five years. He thought that houses would continue to go up and up because there is no more land in Los Angeles. Now he’s lost $300,000.

So according to that quote, people don’t need financial help? It’s “just plain common sense?” Really? I love that quote.

As for dating, sure I’ll agree that it too is “just plain common sense.” In this case I’m actually not being sarcastic.

The problem is that people don’t trust themselves when it comes to dating. They’re afraid to approach. They’re afraid to say what’s on their mind.

When they’re on a date, they’re afraid to challenge somebody because they are looking for validation and approval. They want to be liked. They want to be loved.

Don’t get me wrong. I love people who figure things out on their own. I love people who are financially secure or are great at dating all on their own.

The problem is that most of those people think that everyone else should be just like them. It was so easy for them, and they have no compassion for others who are screwing up in those areas and aren’t mastering them on their own.

Let me tell you, the 80/20 rule is true, and 80% of the world is screwing up. They don’t get it. They don’t understand. 80% of the world can’t balance their own checkbook, make a budget or walk across the room to approach someone of the opposite sex.

So when people say something like the quote I put at the beginning of the blog, I say to them, “You have no compassion.” If you need help in one part of your life, you should go and get it!

If you need financial help, there are financial people from whom you can get help. If you need help with dating, there are people like myself who can help you.

Really, a lot of what I teach is to get people to trust their instincts. I teach people how to trust themselves, love themselves and how to be more self-aware.

Shame on you to the person who gave me the quote that started this blog, for thinking that nobody needs to be taught these things. Shame on you.

There are so many people out there who are lonely, angry, upset, and broke. So many lonely people who can’t date, who can’t make the right relationship choices, but according to the person who gave me that quote they should just figure it out on their own. It’s all instincts and common sense.

The problem is that these people’s instincts and common sense haven’t gotten them anywhere. So why pass judgment about these people, and about their decisions to seek help. Passing judgment on people is the reason we’re in such a mess in this country.

I love that I teach people how to date, how to meet people and how to love themselves. It’s an honor for me to do that. I have compassion for it and I enjoy it.

So come on folks. Stop judging others who are having trouble with some part of their life, and start supporting them.

I can imagine what happens when the woman who gave me the quote at the beginning of the blog has a friend come to her for advice. She probably just says to her friend, “Just use your common sense.” I can also imagine how badly and how uncomfortable that friend must feel after hearing that.

What this woman should say to a friend like that is, “You know, I might have gotten that part of my life in order, but I can totally understand where you are at and how you feel. Let’s find you some help and the right people to talk to about this, so you can make this part of your life amazing.”

Let’s start supporting each other and stop judging each other.

This post was previously published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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