College used to be synonymous with causal hookups, wild frat parties, and guilt-free exploration, but as our culture has shifted after #MeToo, it is time to change the conversation about college romance.
“We have undergone a much-needed social awakening, and in recent years, many survivors have bravely come forward with stories of sexual assault and harassment. College students, in particular, have taken this opportunity to speak out about a pattern of sexual crimes on campuses. As such, it is important that incoming freshmen and even upperclassmen learn how to adjust their behavior appropriately,” says Johnny Dzubak, relationship development expert.
Dzubak, who is the host of the popular lifestyle podcast (with over 150M+ downloads) The Art of Charm, along with fellow relationship development expert AJ Harbinger, says that the days of casual hookups may be a thing of the past, at least when it comes to intoxicated one-night-stands.
“Consent is a really important topic right now, and we are now understanding that a stumbling drunk person cannot give consent to sexual activity,” says Dzbuak. “This is something college kids need to understand. While media tends to glamorize drug/alcohol abuse and casual sex, it is time clear-headed consent takes its rightful place in the bedroom.”
Harbinger, who has counseled countless clients who are seeking love and romance, agrees. “Apps like Tinder make it really easy for college kids to find available partners, but our conversations with kids about safer sex also needs to extend to the fact that getting blackout drunk and hooking up is a dangerous combination which can lead to allegations of sexual assault.”
Dzubak also says that drugs and drinking can become a crutch which will obliterate students’ ability to build real connections and establish strong social skills.
“College is such a time of potential growth,” he says. “But sadly, I see many kids wasting their 4 years in a haze of partying. They lose the ability to socialize without over-indulging in alcohol, and they can’t approach the opposite sex unless they are already buzzed. Dumping the substances and socializing without this crutch isn’t easy, but college is the best time to do it. Otherwise, you are going to be playing catch-up during your 20’s.”
“And, let’s face it, intimacy is always better when you can actually feel and enjoy what is happening,” says Harbinger. “It is possible to enjoy your college years while partying in moderation and being mindful about your sexual decisions.”
For more on this topic or to speak to Johnny Dzbuak or AJ Harbinger, please contact me.
This post was previously published and is republished here with permission from the author.
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