Since I‘m not really an affectionate person. I’m not good at talking, communicating, relationship stuff and If I’m in a relationship, I’d become a weird, scary version of myself, and my throat starts constricting, the walls start throbbing. But I’m a woman, sometimes sex always means more to me even if I do not admit it.
Based on my experiences, sexual tension can cloud a man’s mind. When the dick takes over, the brain shuts off. A woman wants romance, a man wants a climax. I’ve felt guilty after sex in my whole life, guilty for everything I said and done to get there. But the thing I learned is when you actually care about the person, you don’t feel guilty.
Meeting people online is easier for me even though sometimes a guy who’s sitting in the corner of Starbucks so tempting but I’d rather type Hi than say Hi with an awkward smile because I don’t want to make myself a joke. So Tinder was my savior when my life gets blue and honestly when I was broken because love is what keeps fucking you long after sex has dried up.
Sometimes it’s like how far, how far have you traveled for searching the one with the dating app. Is it years or maybe a lifetime? There are people on purpose on the dating app, or just playing the dating app as a number game, like me. So I can’t decide and started to ask my Instagram friends randomly about a guy you’ve met online.
. . .
There’s nothing surprises me about this, as I mentioned above, a woman wants a romance. I found out most of my female Instagram friends are on purpose on the dating app. And I salute to guys who are into online dating for more than casual sex, who are into it to meet women and hopefully find a life partner.
“My boyfriend and I found each other on Tinder, he reached me through Instagram’s DM, and now here we are.” — E, 28
“I met my boyfriend on the dating app and we’ve been together for almost 3 years.” — F, 22
The guy who online dates just for hookups, I usually met this kind of guy because I’m on purpose to it as well. But we should understand the differences between hookers and players.
Hookers will blatantly ask you to have sex on the first date, no specific reasons, he doesn’t care about anything other than your looks and how soon he can get into your pants. So no drama, no hard feelings no matter how cute they are. Honestly, they’re better than a player.
And the player would like to pretend they’re like you and want a relationship with you, they will always make you feel guilty every time you ignore their dating invitation. Their dating idea is always Netflix and chills at their place. If you’re trying to hold off on sex until you get to know each other better, they won’t be ashamed to push your boundaries until you yield and sleep with them.
They might say things like “but the physical aspect is very important to me when I’m hanging out with someone,” or “sex is one of the factors that help me decide if I want to be serious with someone or not.”
So if you are looking for a relationship, this is not your guy. Stay away.
“He is a jerk but he drives me crazy” — R, 21
“He can’t even stop to send me nudes, it’s disgusting” — M, 22
Just a Guy on the Dating App
They love to talk, meet new friends through social media, engage the conversation, and don’t have a game plan to sleep with as many women as possible, they also don’t have a strategy to filter the most interesting people to actually go on a date with. They have no clue how any of this works whatsoever. They might be a nice guy to go out with, but they might also be so unsure of what they are looking for.
“I met a Swedish guy in 2012, we hadn’t talked for years but he wished me happy birthday on my every social media” — C, 21
“It’s funny when I knew he was my cousin’s friend and we became a good friend.” — M, 22
. . .
This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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