Planting my feet

Sitting in a cafe sipping a cafe latte and indulging in a fresh pastry (baked by their onsite French pastry chef) I am just soaking up the atmosphere of background music and the gentle chatter of patrons who swarm to this tiny bakery that is in a little side street that you would miss if the locals didn’t tell you about it. I still feel like a tourist, yet this is now my town, my home. The quirky shops around the corner from my new (but very old) home have the most friendly shop keepers who have been so excited to welcome me as one of their own. When I mention I am new to the area they are so excited and are quick to tell me I have chosen a wonderful place to live.

We have been here around six weeks and so far I have to agree, we do feel blessed to live here, our home may be run down and small, (cosy and homely), but our community is friendly and to me that means more, especially when you are leaving behind a wonderful community of friendships and family in order to make this move. One of the shop keepers was keen to tell me about this little bakery and even wrote me a list of the best coffee places in town to rotate between, I have to confess I will treasure that list!

I honestly feel I have never lived somewhere where I have felt more like me than where I am now. It has been no secret that I have struggled in the past with living in an area that felt so claustrophobic, I remember one of my friends saying to me “bloom wherever you’re planted“, and I tried, yet every time I felt like I was being swallowed by a void. I think the truth is I wasn’t planted. I always felt grateful for my beautiful home, my family and my amazing friends, I never took that for granted, yet I couldn’t grow.

I am not foolish enough to believe that just because I have moved that I am suddenly no longer suffering from anxiety, or think that it will all be easy. Sometimes I feel such a deep pang for the friends I am missing and all our coffee dates. Today I sit alone having coffee, my laptop keeping me company and as much as I adore my laptop it can not even begin to replace the laughter and chats that I share with my friends. Anxiety will no doubt walk beside me as my unwanted companion throughout many days of my life, but I am more at peace living here than I can ever remember being.

Today has been my first real day alone, hubby at work, kids at their new schools and just me, myself and I . . . although I have had the friendly shop keepers and the smiles of strangers to give me hope that I will oneway find a tribe here. Today I didn’t feel alone or lonely, I felt I was right where I wanted to be.

I am starting to believe that maybe I will be planted here, and finally it’ll be my time to bloom.

Thanks for reading, love, Kylie

Feature image by Kamboompics via Pexels