It’s an unwritten rule in the playbook of parenting that there’s no form of toddler-induced humiliation that a mother cannot conquer. On her Facebook page, Serious Mom Shit, one mother wrote about the trials and tribulations of wrangling her four young children in a public bathroom stall—and then having to explain to them why “mommy is bleeding.”
The saga begins with this mother really, really needing to pee. After finally finding a stall large enough to fit herself and four little ones, she began the arduous process of getting the kids to go potty. First came the twins, who peed simultaneously while “arguing about who is peeing the fastest and farthest and longest.”
Next went the woman’s daughter, who decided to use her turn on the toilet as a moment to reflect on her surroundings, rather than actually go to the bathroom. ‘Look at the door mommy, it is grey. Look at the wall mommy, it is white,’ the mom wrote her daughter’s astute observations. After realizing her littlest still had a dry diaper, it was FINALLY mom’s turn to pee.
Alas, the mom looked down and realized: the red tide had arrived. In the middle of a crowded bathroom, her twins began to scream, “MY MOMMY IS DYING” and “HELP MY MOMMY BECAUSE HER PEEPEE IS BLEEDING TO DEATH.”
Her youngest then crawled out of her reach and underneath the bathroom stall. People started laughing, because who wouldn’t laugh at two screaming children’s innocent reactions to their mother’s menstrual cycle?
But a woman that the mom nicknamed “Angel of Tampons” was there to save the day. Just as the mom was giving up hope on ever finding a tampon buried in her diaper bag, her little boy came crawling back into the stall—with a wrapped tampon in his mouth.
‘Did you get it or did he eat it?’ the “Angel of Tampons” asked from the other side of the stall.
Phew—she got it.
“THIS IS HOW WE SURVIVE PARENTHOOD,” the mom wrote. “We send tampon carriers in the form of toddlers to save each other in the bathroom and that is why us bitches have to stick together.”
After reassuring her children that she was fine, and this was, in fact, a very normal occurrence, the mom left the bathroom to thank her menstrual patron saint. But, like a mirage in a sun-washed desert, the woman had already vanished. On behalf of mothers everywhere who are sharing stalls with their children we all thank the “Angel of Tampons.” We’ve all benefited from one—or stepped into the role of one!