How much patience would you have with an impossible-to-impress kid at your child’s party?
For a dad on Reddit, who admitted to sending a girl home late at night for her behavior at his house, the answer is: not much. Now he’s taken to the AmITheAsshole subreddit to see if he made the wrong call.
The 34-year-old dad hosted a sleepover birthday party last Saturday for his 14-year-old daughter. Five girls were invited, including one he identified as a “spoiled brat” as soon as she arrived.
The participant, he said, spent the whole evening on her phone. His child assured him that she was a “super duper cool girl.”
When it was time to open presents, the girl “scoffed” at what he and his wife bought: an iPhone 7 they were able to afford by pooling their extra money. The SB or “spoiled brat,” as he continued to call her in the post, had the newest model.
The girl’s comments affected his kid’s opinion of his gift. Later in the night, after the phone was set up, his daughter told him, “Why couldn’t you have just bought me the newest iPhone?” before leaving the phone behind.
When the father took a look at the device, he found text messages from the girl to his child, calling her slumber party and all the gifts she received “lame.” What’s more, she told the celebrant she wished she could just go home.
Well, the OP ensured she was able to do that. At around 1 a.m., he went to the room where the girls were gathered—they were all still awake—and took the teen aside, instructing her to pack up.
“I took her downstairs and asked her to call her mom. She asked why and I said, ‘Because that’s what you said, right? That you wish you could go home? So go.’ She was tearing up a bit, and made the call.”
The mom apologized to the OP and asked if she could stay, but the OP, after some thought, stuck with his initial decision.
The dad is now concerned he should have handled the situation better. His wife said he “overreacted” and should have spoken with her instead of immediately sending her home. Yet he believes he taught the SB a lesson. “It was MY DAUGHTER’s bday, and I didn’t want the rest of her night ruined because of some spoiled brat who was making it all about her. I guess she didn’t exactly do anything wrong, but at the same time her attitude was unbelievable. AITA?”
Since being shared last week, the post has gotten about 2.8K comments. Many believed the father’s decision was correct.
“The most important thing right now is teaching your daughter the things she should and should not accept, and a BIG one is not accepting people in her life who look down on her for not having an ‘inferior’ cellphone or anything for that matter. She needs to see when she is being belittled or when people are being unfair to her,” user JessRue wrote.
User pad1007 agreed, but admitted his actions might have hurt his daughter in the long run. “It’s been a while since I was a teenage girl, but I remember they can be vicious. Hopefully the girl learned a lesson, but it’s possible she may lash out at your daughter because of being sent home.”
Some felt the dad was too harsh. User elwoodpdowdsmother said the OP spied for no reason, let the teen “bruise” his “fragile ego and pride” and acted childishly. What’s more, he inconvenienced the girl’s mother, and wasn’t understanding of how teens can be. And he failed to consider his daughter and wife. “You did all of this without having a conversation with your daughter about her wishes, and didn’t give her a chance to explain to you how completely embarrassing it is to have your angry father kick a cool girl out of your party in the middle of the night for texting rude things,” they wrote. “You did all of this without having a conversation with your wife about the best course of action.”
Redditor mrs_goldenfold added that the father should’ve acknowledged his daughter was “spoiled” too, because of her reaction to the cell phone. “It doesn’t matter that she acted that way due too the comments made by ‘mean girl.’ It helps to understand WHY she did it, but that doesn’t make it OK to behave that way. Parents love to claim that their kids just behave a certain way because someone else is a bad influence. smh.”
The verdict? The dad is NTA (not the asshole).