I’ve mentioned this before, but when I was a freshman in high school I spent a weekend at The United States Military Academy in West Point, New York. It was a trip organized by the Boy Scouts, with a campout, a running of the obstacle course, and orienteering lessons. For me the trip served a secondary purpose, a chance to look around and talk to some Cadets. A chance to determine whether or not I should seriously pursue my ideas about applying there.
It was an eye-opening experience, quickly convincing me that I probably didn’t possess the drive and self-discipline that would be required. One of the things that helped me come to this conclusion was hearing from some of the students that they slept every night on the floor next to their bunks rather than in them. The standard for how their beds were prepared every morning was so strict that it simply wasn’t worth going through the process every day.
It’s a story that I was reminded of last night, shortly before my daughter’s bed time. She had gone upstairs to clean her room before brushing her teeth and settling down and as I headed in to check her progress I instead found her at the hallway closet, removing a spare pillow and sheet set. She was so proud of the job that she had done making her bed that morning that she was insistent that she be allowed to sleep in a small tent set up in the corner of her room so that she wouldn’t mess it up.
The only way that she finally became agreeable to getting under her covers was if I agreed to take a picture of the bed so that she would know how to replicate her hard work the following day.
Both the room cleaning and bed making are new daily jobs, two of the five that she must now complete every day in order to be in compliance with the chore chart that she helped put together at Daisy Scouts.
On the surface this seems like a great idea, a way to start encouraging responsibility and introducing her to the idea of expectations regarding the sharing of household duties. Habits formed now that hopefully will continue in the future. An avoidance of the endless nagging that seems necessary to get her older sister to perform even the simplest of tasks.
Instead what we have is a new obsession, an extra half hour added on to our morning routine and the potential for a stern scolding if I get caught filling up the dog’s bowl. The nearby chart offers no room for discussion regarding who’s job that now is. I’m fairly certain that she is now purposely throwing her dirty clothes on the floor next to her hamper so that she will have something to clean up after her shower, a way to clean a room that otherwise may not have needed cleaning that particular day.
Fortunately there doesn’t seem to be any real anxiety involved, something that her competitive nature always has me nervous about. To her this is just another challenge that once accepted, must be completed. Every day.
I still think a chore chart is a great idea. Still admire her drive, her willingness to help around the house, and the ferocity with which she attacks anything new. A slight decrease in intensity once in a while would probably be OK though.
This post was previously published on ThirstyDaddy.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Jeremy Barnes