3 Ways to Find Your Peace When Your Life Is Overwhelming

This morning, I woke up earlier than usual, after a much needed evening lying on the couch with my dog and Peter after putting our son to bed.

A single candle shone brightly on the coffee table and the lingering smell from dinner was still in the air. I sipped eggnog with brandy and felt surrounded by peace and love.

I know how easy it is to get sucked into all the things that aren’t perfect: all of the doubts, stresses and fears. To focus on the overwhelm of the holiday season and wonder how you’ll ever have enough time to get everything done.

As a child, December stretched on forever as I counted the days to Christmas. Now, the month flew by as I’m getting ready to open the doors to the Crazy Wild Love Academy in January, prepare for holidays with a baby, entertain guests in town, and still coach clients and respond to emails.

Last night, I needed to pause to connect with the love in myself and beauty surrounding me.

I know that I’m not the only one feeling overwhelmed this time of year, so I wanted to share the solution with you.

Mindfulness.

1. Realize that you can’t do it all right now

You might have a hundred things on your to-do list. The moment we admit to ourselves that we have too much we’re trying to cram in with too few hours in the day, it becomes obviously that we need to clear some clutter. In the first week of Crazy Wild Love Academy we dive deep into clearing clutter.

The key is to prioritize with mindfulness.

Notice all the things you’re doing in a single day. How much time is spent browsing the internet? What websites are you visiting? How much TV are you watching? How much time spent on social media or texting? How much time are you cleaning? Notice the time wasters and begin by eliminating as many needless distractions as possible.

Then look at that long to-do list. Realize you can’t do everything right now. You can’t even do them all in the next 24 hours. Realistically, you can only do one thing right now. Instead of thinking that you need to do everything right now, pick just one thing, and do it with your fullest presence.

2. Choose a task that has the largest effect.

When you’re overwhelmed, it’s tempting to want to check a ton of minute tasks off of your to-do list. It feels productive, but really it’s just being busy to be busy. This could be cleaning (I use this one to procrastinate a lot), doing laundry, responding to Facebook messages, and so on.

Instead, pick a task from your list that will have the highest impact and largest effect. Since you can only do one task at a time, pick a good one. Something that will move you forward in your life, work, relationship, or goals. Take some time to really think about it. It could be writing the email that could get you a new job, working on a project, going to the gym, prepping holiday dinner, or even spending uninterrupted time with a loved one.

It may not seem obvious at first, but it will come to you.

Sure, the dishes still need to get washed, the laundry folded, and emails checked. But do those things as a mindful break between the larger items.

3. Re-frame and let go.

Often how busy we think we are magnifies how overwhelmed we feel. That is, the stories we tell ourselves about life can dramatically effect our stress levels. This is where practice a reframe changes our story.

Instead of seeing your life as busy and overwhelming, choose to see it as rich and interesting. If you are fortunate enough to have people you want to spend time with, work to do, and opportunities – then choose to see it that way. And remember your life is only as busy as YOU decide to make it.

Notice what you think you need to do, which is your ideal, and let go of it. Instead, be open to the erality that’s right in front of you: you can only do one task at a time.

We don’t have to waste our lives being stressed out and overwhelmed. Instead we can smile, let go, and put our full attention on the task, person, or moment in front of us.

In the comments below, I would love to hear how you can challenge yourself today to focus solely on the one important thing you’re actually doing, one small step at a time.

With holiday love,

Alexis

A version of this post was previously published on huffpost.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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