A Parent’s Worst Nightmare – A Daughter’s CourageousResponse

A Parent’s Worst Nightmare – A Daughter’s CourageousResponse

Accepting my new disability never was a real issue for me. The issue was what needed to be done next. Beth Kolbe I am not a parent myself. But I have heard it said many times that a parent’s worst fear is the death of their child. After reading Cindy Kolbe’s powerful book, “Struggling with Serendipity,” I suspect there might be a tie for first place when it comes to the grim “worst nightmare” fears lurking in…

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3 Relationship Warning Signs

3 Relationship Warning Signs

Relationship warning signs are the last thing we often want to think about when we finally meet someone we like. We get so much from relationships and spend a lot of time trying to find “the one.” There are apps singles’ nights friends who are always setting up other friends. Industries are built around matching people up. So once you find someone you like enough to spend the bulk of your time with, it can…

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Eliminate This One Word From Your Vocabulary

Eliminate This One Word From Your Vocabulary

Can you imagine that you could be a happier, more compassionate friend, lover, parent, employee, neighbor, even stranger just by changing one tiny little word? Well, it’s true, and I’m living proof. Just ask anyone I know. I was always desperate to be right, to have the last word and to prove that my rationale made sense. My insecure need for you to understand and agree with my perspective led to countless arguments, wounded egos…

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White Racism Is an Extinction Level Flaw in OurSpecies

White Racism Is an Extinction Level Flaw in OurSpecies

Domination-based hierarchical movements like white nationalism are a refined manifestation of our white culture’s larger collective failing to connect across differences. Millions of white folks’ nagging inability to engage across difference represents an extinction-level flaw. Millions of white people remain deeply uncomfortable with differences, differences represented by POC, LGBTQ people, gender non-binary people, immigrants, non-Christians and so on. This narrow, rigid self-isolation is enforced by white culture. It is a deadly force for us all….

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Talking to My Black Son About Race. I’m White.

Talking to My Black Son About Race. I’m White.

My son is eight. He came to live with us just a few weeks after he turned five. Almost immediately, we noticed him regularly making comments about the color of his skin. “My skin is ugly because it is the color of poop.” “I am stupid because my skin is brown.” “I wish my skin looked like yours.” I remember feeling shocked and naive that at age five, before he was even old enough to…

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Learn to Cook, Clean, and Be a Big Boy

Learn to Cook, Clean, and Be a Big Boy

—Three months into physical distancing and there is no more hiding behind the pretense of “gender roles” when it comes to at-home living. If your belief in “traditional values” has made it so that you can’t make yourself a nice meal, keep your home tidy, and care for your children at this point, then you are not an adult — you are a potato. While quarantine has forced us all to spend more time at…

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The Solution to Social Anxiety in Kids is Not what PeopleThink

The Solution to Social Anxiety in Kids is Not what PeopleThink

I have spent 47 years with Social Anxiety Disorder. It is an ugly, devastating disorder that tears you down from the inside out. It can demolish any shred of self-esteem you have. It can paralyze and isolate you. But the solution to social anxiety is not what most people think. In fact, I spent years trying to do what seems intuitive, and it didn’t work. To understand how to help kids with social anxiety, you…

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How to Keep a Journal for Anxiety and Why It Helps

How to Keep a Journal for Anxiety and Why It Helps

Can journaling help anxiety? Can writing down your thoughts and your daily activities help with your anxiety and stress? I would argue yes. Because I’m all about managing your anxiety rather than ‘curing’ it – which I don’t believe in, I’ve always had a curiosity around journaling for anxiety. This post is all about my thoughts on journaling for anxiety, or keeping a thought diary, and how it can benefit you as a long term…

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Divorce or Stay? Using Direct vs. Circumstantial Evidenceto Decide

Divorce or Stay? Using Direct vs. Circumstantial Evidenceto Decide

There’s direct evidence that I was a crap husband and that my ex-wife made the right choice in ending our marriage. I left her alone and crying in the hospital the night our son was born. Fact. When given the choice, I often chose myself and my preferences over her and her preferences. Fact. During disagreements between us in which I felt confident in my beliefs, I treated her as if she was wrong, and…

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Good Karma

Good Karma

Peter Sollett’s “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist” is the sweetest and most charming movie of the year. It is also hysterical. Yes, “Nick and Norah” is predictable by virtue of being romantic comedy. However, Writer Lorene Scafaria’s adaptation of Rachel Cohn and David Levithan’s book is more than just teen angst and high jinx. “Nick and Norah” surprises in its characters’ authenticity, and here the journey is as joyous as the outcome. Scarfaria’s screenplay may…

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